I am Lloyd MacDonald and I am serving an Order of Lifelong Restriction sentence.
I was sentenced to a punishment of 14 months yet I have served 14 years in custody. I was convicted of a breach of the peace. I was arrested after following a mum and her child from outside my flat and wall to outside her flat in Dingwall. I was arrested two hours later just after my tag kicked in. I was handcuffed and taken to Dingwall police station where there was press outside taking photos of me being ticket into the station. I was then charged and held all weekend until I attended court. I was remanded in custody, taken to Porterfield and then transferred to Polmont where I remain until just before I turned 23.
Whilst I was in Polmont I was constantly given abuse due to the perceived offence I was in for. I was challenged by staff on several occasions, staff saying ‘just admit you were going to rape her Lloyd’. I spent most of my time in my cell due to bullying and harassment. I was then assessed for an OLR. I did not understand what was happening. I then went to court and asked my solicitor for an independent report but he said what is going to happen can’t be changed. I was then sentenced.
I have had professionals asking why are you in jail doing the sentence you are doing? Most could not understand why I was in prison. I was sentenced on the basis of what I could potentially do rather than what I had done as if I could go on to rape or murder someone but I have never actually made physical contact with someone so how can they say I can do these awful things if I haven’t hurt someone?
I have been to top end when I left Polmont and became severely overwhelmed due to not being used to being in busy environments so I downgraded myself and then spent another 6 years in closed conditions before getting back to top end. I have been continually reassessed for autism as my community social worker did not believe I had autism but I then get a new social worker when I turned 29 and she accepted the diagnosis and started me on the path to progress and has put a lot of effort to get the right plan and support for me to potentially be released in the coming years.
When my social worker left my case, she admitted she did not mean for me to spend a long time in prison – I was only supposed to get the help they felt I needed and then they would get all the money so they could properly support me but she never still agreed for me to be released by the parole Board.
I am now in top end getting the right support to deal with my autism instead of the system ignoring my diagnosis. I can now see the door as I feel the people managing me are actually trying to get me out. I have had continued abuse and had my needs as an autistic person ignored. As an OLR you are ignored for large parts of your sentence. No one has a critical date as we don’t have liberation dates so the system sees it as we don’t matter. The system needs to change and there needs to be some form of hope for people doing indeterminate sentences as at the moment unless you are one of the very lucky handful of guys, you are not getting on your groups until long after you have been to many pointless parole healings as there is very little to no chance of ever getting a release unless social work agrees to it as they considered you to be unmanageable.
Even if you are well behaved while in prison it does not matter unless you are at Castle Huntly. You are not getting out even if you do everything right.
I have been treated like a short term prisoner for many years even though I am a life sentence prisoner as I have no liberation date. It is torture to live with short term prisoners as they are like a shuttle bus, they are constantly coming back to causing mayhem and then they will get back out again, leaving you to cope with the after effect which is mentally torturing as you have very little to no hope of ever getting out which is horrible. Then you constantly face parole healings with not a chance of getting out and then continuously telling your family outside to have hope but in reality you have no hope yourself of ever getting out, that is heartbreaking.
I think this sentence is not just inhumane for the prisoner but also for the family and people supporting the person in prison as their life keeps going on or they have to deal with the ripple effect of you being in prison for life. And you lose friends or have people talking about you or isolate them from their friends or their support networks so it is not just us in prison who are suffering as life will go on outside and it leaves us behind.
Going out on an escorted leave a few months ago, I went to food place and part of the way through the meal the officer said ‘do you realise this is a cashless place?’ I said ‘what is cashless?’ I then had to explain I was a prisoner on duty release and only have cash. Luckily the guy accepted but that was never a thing when I came to jail, technology is mental and prisoners are not being taught or prepared how to use it and how to use it safely so if we are at the point of release and already stressed, confused and overwhelmed and then you have to figure out how to use technology!
In prison we are managed by staff who don’t understand how the sentence works so how can they explain how your sentence is going to go if they don’t understand? Then you have to continuously deal with psychologists and social workers who hold contempt for you. Some will genuinely care, but others see you as scum. SPS staff don’t understand what it is like to have absolutely no hope at the end of the tunnel and how the smallest, pettiest thing in my day can be such a major thing just for getting you through that day, as it is just something to look forward to, but that doesn’t matter to them as you are just a scummy beast. That extra couple of minutes out of your cell or on the yard in a visit or on the phone or having a conversation with someone could be your only good thing that day.
I hope my story helps either highlight the treatment of OLR prisoners or helps get the OLR overturned.
